They are confused..

They do it without realizing,
They really have no clue,
Reading between the lines,
Is something they just can’t do.

When there is an argument,
They think they’re always right,
No matter what we say or do,
They didn’t start the fight.

They blame it on our hormones,
And  never take the rap,
But let them call us moody bitches, Then of course …its a wrap!

Confused man

Advertisements

All for a reason

The past is the past for a reason
That is where it is supposed to stay
But some cannot let it go
In their head it eats away

Until all their focus becomes
The person that they used to be
The mistakes they made in their life
Oh if only they could see

That you cannot change what happened
No matter how hard you try
No matter how much you think about it
No matter how much you cry

What happens in your lifetime
Happens for reasons unknown
So you have to let the cards unfold
Let your story be shown

Don’t get wrapped up in the negative
Be happy with what you have been given
Live for today not tomorrow
Get up, get out and start living

because the past is the past for a reason
It’s been and now it is gone
So stop trying to think of ways to fix it
It’s done, it’s unchangeable, move on

A Letter 2 Myself

The “him” I speak of is the man you used to be in a relationship or the man who you hoped to be in a relationship with. But he’s no longer in your life in the way he used to be. You still think you genuinely feel love for him, despite the fact that he’s no longer a major part of your life for a reason: he is a jerk. He hurt you, probably repeatedly. And you know in your heart of hearts that you have no business ever having a relationship or probably even having any sort of friendship with him. But you still miss him a lot–even if he was and is bad for you.

You’re tightly holding onto the memories of this man despite the fact that you know that it’s time to move on. You miss him more than you can clearly express, you think of him all the time, and your heart aches at the thought of not having him near.

Of course, the problem with missing someone with whom you have an unhealthy relationship is that it leads to re-engagement with that person–which is the last thing you need. But you’ve probably texted him or called him, more than once. And you probably regretted it soon after you’ve done it. You can’t just help yourself, can you? Every bit of progress you’ve made in an attempt to gain a healthy distance from him goes straight back to zero.

If given any chance, you would take him back in a second; you hope that one day, he can turn around and admit, “I screwed up, you are what I need in my life.”

Which brings me to my point: this guy you miss so much, he doesn’t really exist.

Yup. That man you miss so much, the man you wish could hold you again, the man whose physical presence you crave, isn’t really real.

You may be saying, “Wait a minute! I was in a very real relationship, what do you mean he didn’t exist?”

What you’re missing is the idea of him, not who he really was and is.

You’re missing the version of a man that you constructed in your head. You created this version of him to fulfill a need. It could be a need to solve the problems of men in the past. It could be an unrealistic obsession with the “perfect guy.” It could be an obsession with unavailable men. Early on in your relationship or friendship, this guy somehow did things that you’ve always wanted a man you’re in a relationship to do and somehow said all the right things and that is what you end up being biased towards. He also seemingly managed to avoid doing things that men in your past did to hurt you emotionally or made you feel uncomfortable. And as soon as you witnessed this “good” behavior, you latched on to it. Box checked; this guy might be the one. You ignore all the bad stuff and hang on to the romantic fantasy of him feeding you nice lines.

But all these positive traits are the components you piece together to create this image of this guy, who wasn’t actually a good guy or at least not the man for you. And it’s that constructed version of him that makes you ache, that makes you hurt. It’s the version you miss so much. It’s the version that makes you wonder how you are ever going to find a guy like him again. You can’t imagine that another guy like him, with all his unique qualities, could exist.

The creation/idea you thought you were with, the guy you miss so much actually treated you horribly, made you cry, made you feel lonely. But you don’t think as much about those horrible moments when you are thinking of him, do you?

The parts of him that you do miss don’t really involve the negative. Rather, it’s about the idyllic. It’s about little moments with him that were so amazing; you can just close your eyes and go back to them and feel incredibly happy and then incredibly sad.

Whenever you should be reminding yourself that this guy hurt you, disappointed you, you do just the opposite. The man you managed to create, who doesn’t really exist, pops up. He’s smiling, he’s making you feel special, he’s the one who makes you feel invincible. “The idea” of him comes roaring back and sets you further behind in your progress to properly move on.

Nighttime is the worst, isn’t it? The anxiety runs high. Nothing can seemingly soothe the frustration, anger, sense of loss. Being alone is painful, but even being with your friends is equally tension-filled.

It’s enough to make you want to throw something against the wall, “Why can’t I just stop re-engaging, why can’t I just move on, why can’t I stop missing him? Why can’t I make this go away?”

You’re not going to stop missing “him” until you first acknowledge that he was never really there to begin with.

He was just a ghost.

xoxo💋

Letting you go…

You broke my heart in two
And took me like a bet,
with all you put me through
I have so many regrets.

To lose you was worth it,
although I wasn’t sure,
it seemed to make me happy,
but still so insecure.

We always said Forever
we would take it to the end
never give it up
but this time my heart couldn’t mend.

It cut so deep into me
I guess it hurt you too
but when you did it, then you lied
I had to say “we’re through.”

I gave you all I had
I tried to make it last
but now all we have
are memories from the past.

So look me in the eye
and tell me what you see
a girl so broke inside
who’s been through misery.

And now I’m moving on
with the pain that kills inside
but I’m starting to forget
by reminding myself, how you lied!

I have somebody new
someone to treat me right,
to talk to lovingly
and to hold me all night.

He’s there for me when I need him
to give me love and support
to hold me close and wipe away
all my signs of hurt.

To kiss me softly every night
and let me know he’s there
to call me just because,
just to tell me that he cares.

Now here I go again
fallen so hard, so deep
but this time it’s different,
this is one I want to keep!

Being Yourself ❤️…

Have you ever kept something hidden,
about yourself?
Locked it away,
put it on the shelf.
Fearing judgment,
what people might say.
Because it is different,
they might not see it the same way.
So you feel like you,
have to hide.
That’s a part of yourself,
you’re keeping inside.
It’s not fair,
to you nor to them.
And by keeping it hidden,
no one wins.
Who you are,
becomes a lie.
You can’t be who you truly are,
no matter how hard you try.
Because that little part of yourself,
is digging a dark and deep hole.
One you can’t crawl out of,
burying your soul.
To everyone who refuses,
to accept.
Everything you are,
until there is nothing left.
Be all that you are,
despite the cost.
Be true to yourself,
then nothings lost.
Let it shine and be proud,
of who you are.
Pretending to be someone else,
won’t get you very far.

This is for you…

When I first met you
I felt like I had known you forever,
telling you my secrets
and what I didn’t want ever.
u listened to me
I bet you thought I’d never end lol
who would have thought
we would become more than just friends.
Over a period of time,
I got to know the real you.
A man so caring and gentle,
with a heart so true.
You’ve survived your life
with hurt and loneliness by your side.
I told you I’d never leave
because of the feelings I have inside.
I know you
like no one I have ever known,
and sometimes I wonder
what I’d do if you were gone?
So I have decided
time answers all.
If it is meant to be
time will remove the wall.
I love the way we are together,
you can always make me smile.
Will it ever really be forever?
I guess I will have to wait awhile.
Time will reveal, what lies ahead
but always remember
what I have said.
Meeting you has changed my life
and I really love you so,
the feelings I feel for you
I am never letting go.
Remember me always
and I will too.
I always think of
me and you.

Single Woman’s Prayer…

Single Woman’s Prayer

Now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man who’s not a creep.

One who’s handsome, smart and strong,
Who’s not afraid to admit when he is wrong.

One who thinks before he speaks.
When he promises to call, he doesn’t wait six weeks.

I pray that he is gainfully employed,
Won’t lose his cool when he’s annoyed.

Pulls out my chair and opens my door,
Massages my back and begs to do more.

Oh send me a man who will make love to my mind.
Know what to say when I ask “How fat is my behind?”

One who’ll make love till my body’s a’ itchin’
He brings ME a sandwich too, when he goes to the kitchen.

I pray that this man will love me to no end,
And never compare me to my best friend.

Thank you in advance and now I’ll just wait,
For I know you will send him before it’s too late.

Amen

Author Unknown

 

Honesty…!

I was talking to one of my male friends’ today about relationships and I’ve determined that men are not emotionally honest with women because they think the relationship would move to a friend zone state and love would no longer be an option. Let me tell you all something, we (as females) prefer a HONEST man. …. So to keep from being PUT into the Friend zone….honesty is the best policy! I believe the purpose of men being emotionally honest shouldn’t be just to satisfy us women, but also to live in honor as a man. A man who shares his emotional truth is simply being honest. We may not like hearing how u feel about us or our relationship, but we will know the truth, and we can work with that. A man who speaks from his heart is sharing his absolute truth, and deserves respect. Of course it works both ways lol.

Another thing that has been on my mind, why do men in general not know the answer to things? When you ask them a simple yes or no question they want to go around the bush, which later leads to lies…which leads to us getting upset…which leads to arguments….etc…and then at the end, the man says its Our fault because we asked the question. ….NOOOOO its your fault because u just couldn’t be upfront and honest! if we ask a question about our relationship… ansWer it we can handle our own feelings! GOODNESS!!!!!

Sorry just wanted to vent for a moment..i hate liars…, thought what better way to vent than to write.

#NowPlaying #TonyBraxton

AlbumArt_{1C5A803C-DCB8-4F1A-A6B8-D4A15980B9AA}_Large

~Toodles XOXO~

Attitudes Make a Difference ❤️

Hello everyone! Have not written in a while! But I’m back at it… well for today that is. lol I was talking to my mother the other day and she brought to my attention, sometimes I need to work on my approach aka “My Attitude” So that’s what I want to discuss today ❤️

Have you ever looked at how you react to a situation? Not just glance but really examine what you do and say. Have you ever looked at your attitude? Is it positive? Negative? Either way, sometimes life knocks us down, it can be because of family, and or friends. But, that’s the nature of the way things happen in life. Things do… and will go wrong. The question is, how are we suppose to go about handling things? Where do we even start? First things first, we have to make sure we have the right attitude. If we go into a situation with a bad attitude, that’s exactly what we are going to get!!

Have you ever pre-decided before meeting a person you are not going to like them? Or what about going to a family outing automatically assuming “It will be boring” The fact is, you usually find exactly what you expect to find. Your pre – dispositions determine beforehand the way you will see things. Quick example..

“There are two brothers, both married with a wife and kids. The first brother wakes up in the morning and looks at his wife. Her hair is in rollers, face covered with cleansing cream and there’s a rip in her robe. He thinks to himself, “Man, what on earth am I doing with this woman?” The second brother, wakes up in the morning, looks at his wife and sees her hair in rollers, cleansing cream on her face, and also a rip in her robe. But he thinks “ Look at this woman, She is amazing, she jumps up, fixes breakfast and gets the kids off to school all before she takes care of herself, she’s my beautiful wife!”

So guys what made the difference here in this situation???

ATTITUDE!!!!

Just from a little common sense and research we learn that our responses to things are more so based off our attitudes than by what others actually do.

Things are going to go wrong.. We know that! But it is up to us to turn things around, and keep trying. It’s kind of like a mouse in a maze. There’s a place to go in and go out.. but there are a lot of dead ends and walls. When you run into a brick wall in life, you have to change your attitude, your heart and your direction to make it right again. No one is perfect. But, its up to us to make things right, when things go wrong. Just remember, “I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me” – Philippians 4:13

~XOXO~